1. You can use “bitch envy” to your advantage.
You weren’t expecting that one were you? Cady says, “The weird thing about hanging out with Regina was that I could hate her, and at the same time, I still wanted her to like me.” The problem is, Cady didn’t take that feeling and use it for something productive. Let me explain. Career expert and former editor-in-chief of CosmopolitanKate White talks about “bitch envy” as follows:
“It’s that awful feeling when you hate someone who just got a promotion or a new job. When you feel that emotion, what you need to do is say, ‘What’s it telling me about me? Is it because she got something I want, or a variation on it?’ I don’t think you should push [feelings of envy] aside. I think you should turn it around and let it shine a light on you.”
Regina George is awful, yes, but boy is she capable of asking for (and getting) what she wants, and I think that is something to be admired. We all have “that girl” in our office. Instead of wasting time envying—or as Cady did, following—her, start asking for what you want. Minus the bitchiness.
2. “Don’t let the hataz stop you from doing ya thang.”
And once you become that girl people start envying, take some advice from my boy Kevin Gnapoor. Because there are always haters, high school or not.
3. New office? Learn the lay of the land first.
“You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, preps, J.V. jocks, Asian nerds, Cool Asians, Varsity jocks, Unfriendly black hotties, Girls who eat their feelings, Girls who don’t eat anything, Desperate wannabes, Burnouts, Sexually active band geeks…” Janice knows. Certain offices and companies have pretty rigid guidelines for how things work. You have to learn the rules before you can break them. And break them you must.
4. Office gossip is always, always a bad idea.
Because first and foremost, “Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.” Thanks, Cady. Every minute you spend talking about someone else at work is a minute you could have spent doing something productive. Everyone knows it only makes you look bad, and somehow we continue to do it anyway.
5. An even worse idea? Badmouthing an ex-boss (even if he/she is the absolute worst).
Gretchen makes this mistake. “And you know she cheats on Aaron? Yes, every Thursday he thinks she’s doing SAT prep but really she’s hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room above the auditorium! I never told anybody that because I am *such* a good friend!” Obviously (I hope), you would never tell an interviewer something like that. However, it happens on a small scale all the time. Interviewer says, “Who is the most difficult boss you’ve ever had?” or “I’ve heard XYZ can be very unpleasant to work for, did you find that?” Never, ever give in and badmouth someone you’ve worked for, even if it feels like that’s what the interviewer wants to hear. Always go with something tactical along the lines of, “I’ve learned so much from everyone I’ve worked for, and in fact I think I’ve benefitted from experiencing different management styles.”
6. But since people will gossip anyway, the office is not the place for over-sharing.
Oh poor sweet innocent Ms. Norbury. She just thought she was having a life advice moment with a student, and it fired back in her face. “How would I know, right? I’m divorced. I’m broke from getting divorced. The only guy that ever calls my house is Randy from Chase Visa. And you know why? Because I’m a pusher. I push people. I pushed my husband into law school. That was a bust. I pushed myself into working three jobs. And now I’m gonna push you because I know you’re smarter than this.” The office is not the place for sharing intimate details of your life, especially with your subordinates.
7. You become what you do.
Doing work you don’t believe in is a slippery slope. Cady still thinks that she’s just “pretending” to be plastic, but my girl Janice sets her straight: “Hey, buddy, you’re not pretending anymore. You’re plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic.” So, for example, if you start working for a company whose mission you don’t support, if you stumble down a career path you’re not really passionate about, it can be difficult to turn around. Not impossible, as Cady demonstrated, but certainly not easy. Even on a small scale, the daily choices you make (to spend the last half hour of work on Facebook or helping a coworker with a project?) become the kind of employee you are.
8. As women, we really are in this together.
Ladies, we’re still at the 77% mark—on average, we make 77% of what men do. Men still dominate the executive positions even in largely female-dominated industries (nonprofits, publishing, etc.). That is to say: we need to be lifting each other up, not tearing each other down. Ms. Norbury said, “You all have got to stop calling each other sl*ts and wh*res. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sl*ts and wh*res.” But this expands to all female-on-female badmouthing and gossip, especially in the workplace. Mean Girls taught us that we’ll achieve much more, individually and collectively, if we just support each other.
9. So celebrate each other’s accomplishments.
Nine for you, Tina Fey! You go, Tina Fey.
After a four day Easter weekend and some sick days last week, I'm actually excited to go back to work. I will have lots of unread e-mail because most offices aren't closed on Friday and most countries don't have an extra day off on Monday.
In this blog post I wrote about the first day back to work after my two week Christmas holiday.
Not just work will be hard, but what about going back to my fitness regime? Last week I felt so sick I didn't go to the gym ones while I go four times during my lunch break. Yikes!
However, I do look forward the good feeling I will have after I have done my work out. I ate so much chocolate eggs this weekend, I really need to get back on that treadmill. ;-)
And lastly: my studies. I have done SOME studying during my four day weekend, but I must admit, not nearly as much as I wanted, or indented, to do. Hope that once I'm back in my normal work/life regime that I will pick up my studies every day ass well.
Hope you all had a great Easter/Pesach! Did you have Friday and/or Monday off?
As a 25 year old I do feel I'm missing out sometimes and it does feel like a quarter-life crisis and it's no joke (referring to Monday's post). I came across this article and I thought I'd share.
1. Express Gratitude. Remember what really matters. Be grateful for the opportunities you do have and think of the people in your life you love most. Write a postcard or letter to five people you’re grateful for—they could be family, friends, partners, or co-workers.
2. Stop comparing yourself with others. In the era of social media we only see the coolest parts of our friends’ lives, like when they get a new job, fall in love, or travel somewhere beautiful. We think, “Wow, I really need to get my shit together.” All of us are figuring it out, even our friends whose Facebook grass looks really green. All of us are on different paths, with no right or wrong answer. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time. Stop worrying about other people think and start figuring out what you want. A good way to do this is to take a one week social media sabbatical. Don’t check your Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram for a week. Trust me, it’s not that hard. At least try a weekend-long sabbatical. During this time, experiment daily with a creative activity you love to do, like writing, photography, or painting.
3. Listen to the voice within. We all know the sensation of being stuck in a job that’s not the right fit. But very few of us actually act on that sensation. If you’re unfulfilled in a job or unhappy with something in your life, it probably means you need to make a change. This doesn’t mean you need to quit your job tomorrow, but it does mean your gut is telling you something important. Use the voice within (we all have one) to guide you in the direction you need to walk. Maybe it’s telling you to explore a new career path, move to a new city, save up money to travel, learn a new skill, find some new friends, ask someone out, launch a company, or start a creative project. Whatever it’s saying, start listening.
Coming Sunday I'm celebrating Easter with a brunch for my family at my apartment. I moved to this apartment last December and my family helped me a lot so this is a gesture to say thanks and a kind of house warming since this is the first time I'm hosting for my family at this place. Also, we're celebrating my dad's 59th birthday, so I want my table setting to be extra festive.
Here below some inspiration for my (and maybe yours) Easter table:
I did not have a great week last week to say the least. Just a lot going on in my life and especially my head. Overthinking stuff and not hearing stuff that makes me sad on top off it.
Luckily one big thing is sorted out and that makes me a lot happier.
I took an unplanned break from blogging, but I guess I really needed that. I did do a lot of after work studying which I feel really good about.
Last Sunday I think it got all a bit to much and it has taken on my body. I got sick. My head, my stomach, my throat. Ouch. I stayed at home Monday, which I rarely ever do.
Now only a few days of work -lots to do- and then a 4 day weekend. Yay! Easter celebration with my family!
It was really one of those weeks, but luckily, better times are coming up.
I recently stumbled upon this post from Levo and lead me to this article from Learnvest. The posts taught me about the 50/20/30 rule in budgeting, which I immediately applied to my own budgeting. I was only saving 11% from my monthly net paycheck and this rule taught me to safe 20%. That means I have to cut money from the 30% I can spent on lifestyle.
I've learned a whole new way in budgeting and now I know exactly how much I can spent on fun stuff.
Here is how the 50/20/30 breaks down:
The 50/20/30 Rule can be easy because instead of telling you how to break down your budget across 20 or more different categories (who could possibly keep track of that?), it splits everything into three main categories:
1. Essential Expenses
No more than 50% of your take-home pay should go toward Essential Expenses, which are the expenses you need in order to maintain the fundamentals of your life: shelter, food, heat, etc. Only four expenses should go in this category: housing, transportation, utilities and groceries.
2. Financial Priorities
At least 20% of your take-home pay should go to Financial Priorities, which are the goals that are essential to a strong financial foundation. These include your retirement contributions, savings contributions and debt payments, if you have debt.
You should make these contributions and payments after you pay your Essential Expenses, but before you do any other spending.
3. Lifestyle Choices
No more than 30% of your take-home pay should go to Lifestyle Choices, which are personal, voluntary and often fun choices about how you spend your discretionary income. They often include cable, internet and phone plans, charitable giving, childcare, entertainment, gym fees, hobbies, pets, personal care, restaurants, bars, shopping and other miscellaneous expenses.
While Lifestyle Choices are the last things you should buy in your budget, you should never feel guilty about that expensive purse or ordering a nice bottle of wine at dinner … as long as you’ve taken care of your Essential Expenses and Financial Priorities first.
As a big fan of the AP stylebook, (as a blogger, you can't life without), I found this article with 25 spring related tips:
1. alma mater 2. alumnus, alumni, alumna, alumnae: Use
alumnus (alumni in the plural) when referring to a man who has attended a
school. Use alumna (alumnae) when referring to a woman who has attended a
school. Use alumni when referring to a group of men and women. 3.
April Fool’s Day: Correct style of the April 1 event—no joke. 4.
Bachelor of Arts, Bachelor of Science: A bachelor’s degree or a bachelor’s
is acceptable in any reference. 5. bazaar, bizarre: Bazaar is a
fair; bizarre means unusual. 6. bride, bridegroom, bridesmaid:
Bride is appropriate in wedding stories, but use wife or spouse in other
circumstances. 7. clean up (verb); cleanup (noun and adjective):
We clean up the yard after winter. I hit cleanup in tonight’s game. 8. daylight saving time: Not savings, and no hyphen. 9.
dean’s list: Lowercase in all uses. He is a dean’s list student. She made
the spring dean’s list. 10. Easter egg: A hidden “surprise”
in a program, a website, a DVD or a TV show such as an extra level of a computer
game or a message. 11. ERA: Acceptable in all references for
baseball’s earned run average. 12. Good Friday: The Friday before
Easter. 13. hit and run (verb); hit-and-run (noun; adjective):The coach told him to hit and run. He scored on a hit-and-run.
14. Holy Week: The week before Easter. 15. horse
races: Capitalize their formal names: Kentucky Derby, Preakness, Belmont
Stakes, etc. 16. knuckleball 17. Little League, Little
League Baseball 18. May Day; mayday: May Day is May 1; mayday
is the international distress signal meaning “help me.” 19. Memorial
Day: The federal legal holiday is the last Monday in May. 20.
seasons: Lowercase in all references. Her favorite season is spring. In
spring 2011, the company will launch its new product. 21.
springtime 22. temperatures: Use figures for all numbers
except zero. It’s going to be 60 degrees today. Wednesday will see
temperatures in the 70s (no apostrophe). 23. T-shirt
24. Twelve Apostles: Not 12 Apostles. 25. waitlist
(noun); wait-list (verb):Providence College put me on the waitlist. She
is wait-listed at Harvard University. Original article
Author: Steve Vittorioso